by Cory Schmidt
It would be wonderful to sit down and say that my greatest experience with the spiritual realm was during a moment of worship. Unfortunately, that would be a lie. The situation that solidified my belief in a world unseen came to me in a moment of cursing God.
I was at a point in my life where my life seemed to be falling apart around me. It is funny how often that seems to happen to high school teens for such petty reasons, isn’t it? Anyway, I was depressed. The depression had started in a mild sadness after a break up (like I said, petty reasons) but it soon worsened with my realization that I lacked close friends around me who were deeply rooted in Christ. Don’t misunderstand, I had some great Christian friends, but I only got to see them once or twice a week at my church youth group or at a Sunday church service. This brought me into a feeling of perpetual sadness, achiness, and a constant exhaustion. In other words, I was now displaying many signs of clinical depression. If you are reading this and have been clinically depressed, you know it doesn’t necessarily take something absolutely traumatic to cause.
This feeling of loneliness moved me to continually pray to God that I could have at least one close friend that loved him at my school. I got impatient with God (not a good idea) and soon began writing angry letters to him in a journal that I owned. This continued for about a month in varying degrees of hostility until the day that all my anger just imploded at one time.
My church was having their annual drama called Sacred Storm which involves different situations of spiritual warfare where both demons and angels are seen by the audience influencing the cast of the drama. During this drama Jesus was present telling a character how much he loved them. I was sitting in the audience with tears streaming down my face while shouting “Liar!” in my head. It was after multiple rounds of screaming at him that I heard the faintest whisper in my head that said, “I love you.” This resulted in intensified crying and apologies to God, asking for forgiveness. I truly believe that other forces were present, screaming those lies in my head, but the truthful words were more powerful in the end.
For her birthday this year, Erin asked readers to send her their personal tales of why they believe in a supernatural world. A couple times a week, some of those submissions will appear here as a series. All stories appear with the author’s permission. We encourage you to comment on the stories and to continue sharing your own! Stories can be posted on Erin’s Facebook Fan Page or as comments on her Blog. Join the discussion!